My Mental Health Journey…

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My mental health journey began many years ago, and has been, probably THE MOST difficult health issue that I’ve had to face.  We hear in the news and in our families, how mental health tends to be taboo and something most people just don’t talk about, or want to bring up.  Many times, it’s due to not wanting to face the root cause of the issue, or perhaps even the work it will take to fix it.  (Very much like any other health issue we face.) In my case, depression seemed to follow me from the time I was very young to today.

As cliché a this may sound, it all began on a day when I was 4 years old and I had my innocence robbed.  This was the day that my life would forever be changed.  I was sexually molested by a relative, and for many years after that.  This would only occur during vacations to my grandmother’s house, and each time that I knew we would be going, I would get so nervous.  My emotional state continued to go down over the years.  I didn’t “fit in” and I had very few friends.  I focused more on school and going away to college.

By the time I graduated high school, I still hadn’t told my parents what had been happening to me and I was excited about going away to school that I tried focusing on that instead.  Unfortunately, during my 2ndyear of school, I came home for the holidays and attempted suicide.  In that moment, it felt like an “out of body” experience.  I could see myself doing what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop myself.  Thankfully, I survived, but I didn’t finish school, and I found myself aimlessly wandering with my life.  I ended up in a place where I was continuing to devalue myself, and at the young age of 21, discovered that I was pregnant.  I had no clue what being a mother would be like, and by God’s grace, I was surrounded by the right people who encouraged me to seek out help.

I had my first experience seeing a therapist while I was still pregnant.  Looking back, I see how that experience really helped me realize why I had been feeling the way I was feeling and how my past contributed to those emotions.  After having my daughter and getting married, I felt better about myself, and truly believed I had overcome a dark period in my life.

However, in 2009, I began feeling down again. More and more, I considered ending my life to escape the complete despair I was feeling.  Again, I was surrounded by people who love and care about me, and I was able to get treated at a mental health facility.  I was there for 2 weeks, and I learned great coping skills, medication management, and how routine is my best friend.  To this day, I still have my good days and bad days. I’ve accepted this part of my health and I now understand the signs.  It’s key for me to be aware of triggers and to seek help when I need it. I am so blessed to have family and friends who provide wonderful support, which keeps me moving forward.

I pray that this encourages someone, that you know you are not alone, the journey is day by day, and to ask for help if you ever start feeling overwhelmed. It’s no different than when a diabetic needs help with managing their health.  Mental health is the same, and no one knows you better than yourself, so watch for warning signs.  And, surround yourself with positive people as much as possible.  This can truly make a difference too.  Cut out the negativity in general, and find time to enjoy life, doing whatever makes you happy.  ~By Tes.

 

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29 thoughts on “My Mental Health Journey…

  1. Thank you for sharing your story! Its hard for some people to seek help and I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you either. I am glad that you had the support system you did to put you and guide you in the right direction. Not everyone else has that. I’m happy you’ve gotten to a place of understanding with your condition. I pray for the strength to keep going.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for sharing this. Life can be hard, and things that happen to us as young children can affect us more than anyone would know or think. You are strong and resilient. I’m so happy with how far you have come. Blessings,

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This gave me goosebumps! To hear your story and how everyday you keep giving life your best is inspiring. Mental health is still taboo but we must continue to break the pattern and the cycle and talk about it. I know you helped someone with this post!! Thank you

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  4. While this story is sad, it is also very beautiful that you are able to share it with the rest of the world. Stories like this help to break the stigma around mental health. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I never wanted to bother anyone with my problems, nor did I want to say it out loud because I wasn’t ready to admit that my mental health wasn’t “normal” or “healthy”. It took me a long time just to open to someone.

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  6. Thank you for sharing your story! It has many similarities to my own. I’m glad you got the help you need and are able to help others. I think many of us in the mental health field are so good at what they do because they get it! Keep writing! I love reading your posts!

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  7. Thank you for sharing your story in hopes to help other people! I have a similar story, with becoming pregnant and being depressed from dropping out of college, so when I got pregnant it was a mix of emotions but like you said I surrounded myself with the right people and paid attention to the signs. Today, I feel much better but I still have my lows.

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  8. It’s really important to recognize the triggers. I am so happy that now you know that you need help when you feel bad. It’s really hard to escape from mental issues but you found good support when you lose your hope. Have faith in yourself because you are now not afraid to talk about mental issues and abuse you faced in past.

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  9. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story so others may benefit. Blogging about it is also cathartic. It’s important to know the triggers and seek help immediately when they pounce on you.

    Liked by 1 person

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