Separation​ and Reunification: Military Life

Learning to deal with a separation and reunification has been consistent over this past year.  Because I am away from my normal support system of family and friends, it is definitely a different feel. Undoubtedly, the girls’ and I have managed to accept the “what is” knowing that this is temporary (they are so strong!).  But that does not mean that we weren’t filled with many emotions as we were given orders in hand earlier this year. We made the choice to stay back in Florida, while Chief departed.  There had been several times when I questioned my journey. Read my previous blog, From Prison to Purpose as I discussed how I zone in on my purpose. But we both knew that we had a purpose that needed to be done on both ends (far beyond what we could ever imagine).  So we took that leap of faith. And let me tell you, this has not been an easy journey at ALL (in all aspects)!

Every few months, Chief is given the opportunity to fly home.  This has been our life for almost a year.  There have been many challenges for the girls’ and myself with reunification over the past several months. Our “normal” changes for a week to two at a time when Chief comes home. Without a doubt, we look forward to seeing Chief as often as we can.  As you may know, there is a great deal of planning, management of time and money, as well as difficult and disappointing conversations, had between Chief and I.  This journey is different, far beyond deployment.  Which has both, positive and negative benefits. The positives do outweigh the negatives (FaceTime is a life saver, lol).

black drawing compass
Photo by Lum3n.com on Pexels.com

As I have stated in Resilience in Military Spouses, military life is a constant change and forces resiliency, especially in uncomfortable instances. It’s a constant fluctuation of emotions, situations and relationships.  I also mentioned in that blog how Chief is stationed in another state. He does most of the traveling back and forth to visit us.  Although, we are thankful for those times.  But just him being gone for several months forced me to adjust to my new normal.  I have learned skills to keep normalcy for the girls’.  Even if that means sacrificing my dreams (for now).  So sometimes, reunification can be difficult for me.  Because I am adjusting to him being home for a few weeks and taking over all of my daily responsibilities. Don’t get me wrong, his presence is extremely helpful, and we try to optimize his time here. Many would enjoy that, but I am a person who has learned to overcome the many obstacles, and “my” normalcy is extremely important for sanity. Read more about my resiliency and adversity here, The Why and How…

I work hard at focusing on me when Chief is home.  Basically, when he lands, I have a list of the twins sports/activity schedule (it changes often), and a “to do list.”  At times, I have found myself apologizing because he comes home and it’s nonstop for him (literally).  But then, I think it gives him the opportunity to live the day in the life of a mommy/therapist.  What I do, is not for the faint.   Chief is always so eager to jump back into the family routine,  and never takes what I do for granted.  He thanks me every day for managing both roles.  And those words and actions mean a lot to me, although this is the life I “somewhat” knew was possible with being a military family.

reuben-juarez-769139-unsplashChief and I have a lot of exciting things planned within the next few months.  We can’t wait to share our plans with you all!

God doesn’t just hand us trust in a basket when we ask for it, rather He hands us situations, circumstances and opportunities where we have to practice trusting in Him. ~B.A.

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42 thoughts on “Separation​ and Reunification: Military Life

  1. This is where we were (staying in FL as he went ahead) and are (reunified) right now. It’s been pleasantly interesting sharing the workload and reintegrating our family. It hasn’t been easy but it hasn’t been hard either. I can’t wait to see where this new journey takes us!

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    1. I defintely understand from both, personal and research experiences. I am actually writing my dissertation on the reintegration of military families. I know you are so happy to have him home. Enjoy this time!

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  2. Girl, this is crazy my boyfriend was just talking about joining the military. I had my doubts because I know that my daughter and myself would be alone from time to time. But reading this post has inspired me, to go along if that’s what he wants to do. Stay strong for yourself and babies. I wish you nothing but the best.

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    1. Good for you in supporting him while he follows his heart. I am sure your support makes it easier on him. Military life is a challenge, but i do think with time I have learned and accepted this lifestyle. There are so many positives about military life, though. Thanks for visiting.

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  3. Thank you for sharing your story! You’ve proven time and time again through your post to be a very strong individual even during the hard times. Gaining a normalcy in always difficult and its seems that you are adjusting to it, over time. ❤

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    1. Thanks. I think new things (military stuff) continues to come down my path often. I just try to roll with it the best way I know how. (even if that’s crying for a few minutes, lol).

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  4. Looks like you have everything under control and organized, despite the challenges. It’s not easy and having a good family support (relatives, parents) is important (I hope you have some, and not like me 🙂
    Women are silent heroes, for sure!

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  5. This is somewhat relatable for me even though i’m not a military wife. I was in a LDR for 4 years and once we finally reconnected and lived closer, that adjustment period was tough! being around each other all the time was a learning experience
    -shay

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  6. I’m an Army wife myself. The things we go through for the military are definitely hard on a family. I admire anyone willing to make it work though. Great job!

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  7. Thank you for the glimpse into how military families have to deal with the ramifications of military life. We so often thank the service men and women for their service, but the spouses and children deserve just as much thanks for being the support system. That is a huge sacrifice and service to our country as well. Thank you for yours!

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