My Childhood Trauma

What is childhood trauma? Why are individuals afraid to talk about trauma or seek help?  What are the long-term consequences of trauma?
In my last blog, I discussed and defined my resiliency as the ability to persevere in spite of my situations.  Many of my childhood and young adult situations have not been pleasant. At one point or another, many people have been forced to endure some sort of traumatic event in their lives. I remember witnessing or being the victim of traumatic situations that at the time I thought was “normal.”  It was a cultural norm for me to observe or be a victim of emotional, physical or mental abuse.  Typically, individuals are a product of their environment.  Unfortunately, it was not until I was a young adult when I realized that my life was not normal, it was in fact, traumatic.  Trauma is the emotional, physical, or mental abuse when a person feels overwhelmed by an event or circumstance.  Feelings from the event affect the brain, body and the body’s response to stress. I believe as time progressed, I cognitively grew adept to trauma. As situations compound, we can develop a “business as usual” attitude towards trauma and not address the issue emotionally and mentally. Sound familiar?
A young boy and girl standing on the sidewalk
There are many variations of trauma to include:
Complex
Medical
Childhood Traumatic Grief
Community, School, and Domestic Violence
Early Childhood
Natural Disaster
Abuse (Physical, Sexual, Neglect)
To know me as a child/young adult, no one would expect that many aspects of my life were traumatic.  My trauma didn’t have a look; it was more so a behavior.  My experience with trauma impacted my school performance, moods, intrusive thoughts, practical decision-making skills, distrust of others, adolescent pregnancy…I could fill this page with my behaviors.  Back then, mental health was not an option, only perseverance, and thankfully, I learned to overcome my past.  Mental health was not an everyday topic in my community, yet through natural attraction, I chose this as my career.  I am blessed to have made it this far in my life with the many dreams and goals I have accomplished, along with being the spouse of my Navy man! But I know if I were given the opportunity to seek mental health early on, I would have returned to a healthy and hopeful individual early on in life.
I once said, “when you can relate, you can connect.”  I am relatable because of my past experiences. My job is to be the voice for children and their families when they are faced with adversity.  I educate my community on the impact of trauma and trauma-informed care. Have you heard of the (Adverse Childhood Experience) ACE study? It is a 10-item self-report measure that identifies childhood experience of abuse and neglect.  I will attach the link for you or a loved one to complete the assessment.  When we know better, we have hopes to do better. Let’s not pretend that trauma isn’t real. Unaddressed trauma can affect not only mental but also physical health. Complete the assessment (linked below) and speak with a trusted mental health professional or your primary care physician. https://www.ncjfcj.org/sites/default/files/Finding%20Your%20ACE%20Score.pdf 
I want to thank each of you for following me on my journey as I tell my story, with hopes of promoting positive social change.  I also would like to thank Top 100 Military Wife Blogs list for featuring me on their site.  Check them out and subscribe https://blog.feedspot.com/military_wife_blogs/
You are resilient! Stay encouraged!
Trenye B.

18 Comments

  1. Miss Ai

    September 25, 2018 at 6:31 AM

    I’m so sorry to hear about your childhood experiences. But I’m very glad that you’ve managed to stay strong despite all that! And it’s admirable that you want to help others who were also in the same situation as you. May you always stay strong!

  2. kchanyear28

    September 25, 2018 at 6:46 PM

    Sharing your personal experiences and educating others on childhood trauma is a topic that is so important and vastly unspoken about! Very informative!

  3. MustardandMayo357

    September 25, 2018 at 8:03 PM

    I’m very appreciative of you being able to share some of your past. Reading some of the things that you have overcome gives me strength and motivation to also to continue to believe and be successful, in spite of.

    1. Trenye B.

      September 26, 2018 at 1:36 PM

      Absolutely! Stay encouraged! and NEVER give up.

  4. Miranda

    September 26, 2018 at 1:27 PM

    It takes a lot of courage to open up about your past. Everyone you meet has had some sort of hardship to overcome but like you said most don’t share and some never actually overcome them they just transfer it to another problem within their life. Thank you for being so honest, very inspiring.

    1. Trenye B.

      September 28, 2018 at 10:12 PM

      I’m hoping this will open a dialogue of education of trauma and its impact.​

  5. Lauren

    September 26, 2018 at 2:43 PM

    Thank you for opening up and sharing your experiences with us! It’s not always easy to be so honest!

    1. Trenye B.

      September 28, 2018 at 10:09 PM

      You’re welcome. This thought/process has been in the making since last year. It took me a while to finally say “it’s time.” Thanks for the support!

  6. brandyyates

    September 26, 2018 at 4:59 PM

    Funny part is, we are taught to suck things up and that black folks don’t deal with depression, but this outlook teaches us at a young age that we can’t Express ourselves and that our feelings don’t matter.

    1. Trenye B.

      September 28, 2018 at 10:07 PM

      Unfortunately, that is so true. We learn to bottle everything up and pretend… pretending is no longer an option for me, my family, and anyone who is willing to join this journey with me. Thanks for the support.

  7. MrBlack

    September 27, 2018 at 1:59 AM

    Learning and growing together as a community is tough. Blogs are an exciting tool for just that!

  8. Erica Ardali (@EricaEverAfter)

    September 28, 2018 at 9:18 AM

    Sister… Same. I am 38 and have what my dr calls Severe Anxiety/Social Anxiety Sever depression, and PTSD… Which is pretty strange to me because like the level doesn’t matter… anxiety, depression, and ptsd are really crappy things to be diagnosed with. Recently though I’ve begun working through some of my past traumas and defeating self talk for more positive self talk, and reminding myself that I am not what I’ve been through.

    1. Trenye B.

      September 28, 2018 at 10:03 PM

      Absolutely! We are not what we have a been through, and we will not let our past​ define who we are today. Stay encouraged sister!

  9. pracreation

    September 28, 2018 at 10:48 AM

    You had very hard times but as I can read from your writings, you were and are a strong person with even stronger will power. More strength to you.

    1. Trenye B.

      September 28, 2018 at 10:00 PM

      Thank you for the encouraging words!

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