Becoming A Foster Parent

img_4596One of my 2018 goals were to complete our therapeutic foster parent training. Becoming a foster parent had always been just a thought. Chief and I would talk often about either adopting or fostering. But we made so many excuses to not invest in either: our house isn’t big enough, we already have too many children to care for, we have too much going on, not enough money, etc. Just excuse after excuse. But also understanding that fostering is a commitment, for the sake of the child’s and our family well-being. In contrary of what individuals believe, you are actually providing and caring for a child as though they are your own. I’m sure many have heard and read awful things about foster parents behaviors towards their foster child.
Because I have worked with at-risk adolescents for quite a few years, I felt a need to do something. I provided community services in the city, but also in rural areas. Therefore, there aren’t too many things that will surprise me in this field (sadly). Not to mention, the constant reminder of my unfortunate childhood. Needless to say, late last year I began researching therapeutic foster care. Chief was on board, as he always is. Of course, he had a lot of questions, mainly with safety due to the specific age I want to foster. I can’t be more blessed to have such a wonderful partner who truly supports my dreams and goals.  His ultimate concern when hearing or reading about risky behaviors is the safety and well-being of his family.
All of that to say, I received my Christmas gift a few days early. We completed all of the training requirements to become a therapeutic foster parent. Now, we are working on our home-study to become fully licensed. I’ve learned that we don’t need a lot of monetary things to care for another child. img_4598We have exactly what we need, but have an abundance of love throughout our home to share with many.  Let me tell you, our girls’ were ecstatic to learn about our interest in fostering.  For some reason, they feel as though they need yet another sibling, lol.
I am thankful to be chosen for this task. From experience working with foster parents/families, I know this journey will not be easy. There are so many children that are in need of safe and loving homes.  Someone to help them navigate this thing called life.  I am beyond excited about our new journey!  We are looking forward to sharing the entire process with you all.
The pictures in this blog includes one of my training manuals and a gift provided by my trainer. Not sure how this story will unfold, but we know who’s writing it. If you are a foster parent, let me know how your journey went.  Or if you have anything to share, I am open to that as well.
Let all that you do be done in love.  1 Corinthians 16:14
You can learn more about my purpose here From Prison to Purpose
As always, like, share, and comment.  Don’t forget to follow me on my other social media platforms. FB IG Pinterest
~Tren
 

71 Comments

  1. shesbeaming

    December 27, 2018 at 11:43 AM

    That’s wonderful you are a foster parent ! So many kids who need loving people like you in their lives !

  2. tcleland88

    December 27, 2018 at 11:43 AM

    As a teacher, I see so many children who are just crying out for love and stability. Thank you for taking on this journey and opening your hearts and home to these kids.

    1. Tren B.

      December 27, 2018 at 4:10 PM

      Thank you for the kind words!

  3. Carla Necole

    December 27, 2018 at 12:43 PM

    This is really informative to me because I’ve been thinking about adopting a little girl. I don’t know if I’ll go through with it and I haven’t even told my family of these little thoughts. Your article gives me more information and perspective.

    1. Tren B.

      December 27, 2018 at 4:12 PM

      It all begins with a thought. Research, research and research. There are so many companies that offers such a program, with different needs for children. I interviewed different program before i committed.

  4. Squared

    December 27, 2018 at 1:17 PM

    Hey Tren,
    Your heart has always been filled with love. This journey of striving to be a foster parent is out of love and it’s very much appreciated by many who wants to be in the same position as you but can’t for whatever reason. Good luck on this journey and i hope it is a very successful one for you and your family.

    1. Tren B.

      December 27, 2018 at 4:13 PM

      Thank you so much for the kind words. Truly means a lot!

  5. vballangel5

    December 27, 2018 at 3:12 PM

    BEcoming a foster parent is a noble journey. Congrats and good luck on it 🙂

  6. Jennifer Yvonne Gonzales

    December 27, 2018 at 4:03 PM

    I was just having a conversation with my mother about how I would love to foster a child, but I’ve always said that my heart, while full of love to give, could never bear to have to part with someone who has become a part of own family. Fostering is such a virtuous deed and takes so much dedication and pride. So great for you to begin this journey! Best wishes!

    1. Tren B.

      December 27, 2018 at 4:17 PM

      I’ve always told my clients (bc therapy comes to an end at some point) life is full of loss, grief and transition. Every situation will humble us or break us, then humble us. We can’t let fear keep us to not fulfilling our purpose. It’s definitely something no one should just jump into. And that too was one of my concerns. Thank you so much for sharing and your well wishes.

  7. Jessica Lyles, LMSW

    December 27, 2018 at 9:38 PM

    I like that you mentioned that you do not need to have alot of money to care for a child. Although money does help, most children need a responsible, emotionally attuned adult to card for them. Great read, very inspirational.

  8. traveler 78

    December 28, 2018 at 12:03 AM

    what you are doing is really amazing and insiring

    1. Tren B.

      December 28, 2018 at 6:01 PM

      Thank you for the kind words.

  9. Alexandra @ It's Not Complicated Recipes

    December 28, 2018 at 1:27 AM

    Hi Tren, I enjoyed reading your post so much! Fostering or adopting a child is something that I have been thinking about for a while. I really felt very touched by this post, and also inspired. Thank you 🙂

    1. Tren B.

      December 28, 2018 at 6:02 PM

      I’m glad you found it inspiring. Be sure to do slot of research and interview different programs.

  10. Wander With Ola

    December 28, 2018 at 4:23 AM

    Wow, this is amazing! Thank you for sharing your wonderful journey. it is such an amazing read that is very inspiring. God bless!

    1. Tren B.

      December 28, 2018 at 6:02 PM

      Thank you for the sweet words. Blessing to you!

  11. Cristina Petrini

    December 28, 2018 at 4:28 AM

    What you tell is noble and important, even more because there are those who have prejudices about this idea when I think it is wrong. Giving love is the most beautiful thing that exists because very often the children are not of those who make them, but of those who grow them.

    1. Tren B.

      December 28, 2018 at 6:03 PM

      I love that “those who grow them.” Love makes such a huge difference in life, especially for kiddos who have been abused and neglected.

  12. Scott Gombar

    December 28, 2018 at 7:18 AM

    Congrats on completing the training. We have discussed being foster parents once our children get a little older. It is truly an amazing gift (of love) to take in a child that is not biologically yours and care for them as if they were.

    1. Tren B.

      December 28, 2018 at 6:05 PM

      Thank you for the kind words. And well wishes to you all. Few free to reach out to me.

  13. Ivan Jose

    December 28, 2018 at 8:12 AM

    I salute you on your great undertaking. Back when my wife and I were trying to have a baby, fostering had never been an option for me. I salute those who are brave enough to share their life and love with an adopted child.

    1. Tren B.

      December 28, 2018 at 6:07 PM

      It’s definitely different. Not everyone is created with the gift to foster. But I believe life has a way of preparing us for everything we go through. I look back over my life, I’ve been preparing for this moment for a long time.

  14. mitchellejuaban

    December 28, 2018 at 8:54 AM

    I have immense respect for foster parents. I think it’s not a walk in the park and yet you’re giving your time, love, and effort which is truely noble.

    1. Tren B.

      December 28, 2018 at 6:09 PM

      It’s definitely no walk in the park. I’ve seen firsthand how foster families have a difficult time integrating (I’m a mental health therapist). I’ve witnessed a lot of situations that scares me, but I am here. Just trying to fulfill my purpose.

  15. Hollie

    December 28, 2018 at 8:59 AM

    Thank you for sharing. I have a few friends that are foster parents and I’ve thought about that route for myself as well. Obviously, it takes a lot of time to come to that conclusion.

    1. Tren B.

      December 28, 2018 at 6:10 PM

      That’s awesome. Yes, it’s something that takes years to finally decide to move forward. Reach out to me if that what you decide to do or have questions.

  16. everydaywithmadirae

    December 28, 2018 at 5:33 PM

    Wow, I’m so happy for you Tren! It takes a really special person to be a foster parent. I like how you said that you don’t need much in regards to money but you could absolutely provide the child with an environment full of love, so well put.
    I had to delete my post yesterday due to technical difficulties & re-posted it today. I noticed you commented so I wanted to return the favor, thank you.
    Happy Holidays!
    -Madi xo
    http://www.everydaywithmadirae.com

    1. Tren B.

      December 28, 2018 at 6:12 PM

      Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. And thanks for the kind words.

  17. georginawangui

    December 28, 2018 at 10:31 PM

    This is just wonderful, Tren. It takes a lot of courage to be foster parents, and I hope nothing but the best for you and your partner. May you continue to be a blessing to your community.

    1. Tren B.

      January 2, 2019 at 4:58 PM

      Thank you so much for the kind words!

  18. Devyani Ray

    December 28, 2018 at 11:37 PM

    It’s not easy being a foster parent. You are a very kind person to be a foster parent !

  19. The Coffee Mom (@Jessi_Sullivan)

    December 29, 2018 at 9:14 AM

    This is so wonderful! I have thought about being a foster parent and still think I may do it one of these days. I did volunteer as a Guardian Ad Litem for a while and loved that

    1. Tren B.

      January 2, 2019 at 4:59 PM

      Awesome! Being a therapist, I work closely with the Guardian Ad Litem. That will surely give you some insight with regards to the foster care world. Well wishes to you!

  20. TechyGrrrl

    December 29, 2018 at 10:56 AM

    Wow… that’s so nice of you and yes I totally agree with you that ” You don’t need much money to start with it, all you need is Love in the heart and care for them.”

  21. knockingonfortysdoor

    December 29, 2018 at 5:20 PM

    Congratulations on finishing your training! I only know you through your blog but feel like you have so much to offer a child who needs you. Best of luck with this exciting new chapter!

    1. Tren B.

      January 2, 2019 at 5:00 PM

      Thanks for your kindness. It means a lot!

  22. natalielovesbeauty

    December 29, 2018 at 5:53 PM

    What a fantastic and uplifting post and big congrats to you on completing training. I look forward to following you on your journey.

    1. Tren B.

      January 2, 2019 at 5:00 PM

      Thank you so much for the support!

  23. this1mommytries

    December 29, 2018 at 8:59 PM

    Congrats! This is a wonderful accomplishment. My husband and I have started paper work to become foster parents and know it can be challenging but it sounds like you guys are on a great track to start something powerful and meaningful in a child’s life!

    1. Tren B.

      January 2, 2019 at 5:01 PM

      That’s awesome! There is such a huge need! Please keep me posted on your journey. I would love to hear or read about it.

  24. Anna Nwa

    December 30, 2018 at 2:34 PM

    Being a foster parent is tough work from what I’ve seen from family and friends, but it is amazing the impact you can have on the kids you come in contact with!

  25. amayszingblogs

    December 30, 2018 at 8:32 PM

    Wow what a great post from you! You don’t need a lot of money to care a child. as long as you would care and loving the child Congrats for being a foster parent..

  26. notdonner

    December 31, 2018 at 4:53 PM

    How awesome! Not just becoming a parent of kids, but choosing to love and further training to be parents of at- risk. Kids all need and will respond when they know you love them!

    1. Tren B.

      January 2, 2019 at 5:02 PM

      Thank you so much! I appreciate the kind words!

  27. onceuponadollhouse

    January 2, 2019 at 8:56 AM

    You are doing such an amazing thing! Best of luck to you and your family.

  28. Mom Life Optimized

    January 4, 2019 at 7:44 AM

    Best of luck to you as you go through the home study process! We became foster parents in 2015 and have adopted one and waiting to adopt another. It’s been a very hard journey, but the most rewarding and life changing experience for all of us in our family.

    1. Tren B.

      January 9, 2019 at 9:08 PM

      That’s awesome! I can imagine how challenging it gets, but as you mentioned the rewards are priceless. I will probably be reaching out to you for some support. Happy New Year!

  29. HerdingChickens

    January 7, 2019 at 4:41 AM

    We need more like you. Thank you!

    1. Tren B.

      January 9, 2019 at 9:22 PM

      Thanks for the kind words. Happy New Year!!

  30. julielelder

    January 7, 2019 at 9:23 AM

    I loved my foster care experience! I became a foster mom to drug-affected babies, and ended up adopting our first baby who is now 30 years old! I learned so much about different types of family situations and how the drug crisis locally affects the children and their futures. And what an appreciation of the hard job a social worker I have now–wow! Congratulations on walking into this amazing adventure!!

    1. Tren B.

      January 9, 2019 at 9:23 PM

      That’s awesome! Thank you for sharing your journey. I am hoping to make a difference in a child’s life. Happy New Year!

  31. foster advocate justice

    January 7, 2019 at 12:05 PM

    Hello, I love you post and I am at the end stages of therapeutic foster care licencing. I am a social worker and a child advocate. I also am a bit scared that we do not have a big enough house or enough money but I think it is simply that, worries and excuses. Reading this really gave me some encouragement! Good luck to you in your journey!

    1. Tren B.

      January 9, 2019 at 9:25 PM

      That’s great! I am so happy for you! I am sure your feelings are normal. I think you will do great! Keep me posted please, I would love to hear about your journey once everything is complete. Happy New Year!!

  32. Nancy

    January 10, 2019 at 5:16 PM

    Thank you for posting this. My husband and I are looking into this. I can see it’s not going to be easy but, I think it could be very fulfilling!

    1. Tren B.

      January 13, 2019 at 8:32 PM

      That’s awesome! Definitely not an easy path, but is very fulfilling. Keep me posted on your journey

  33. Equipping

    January 24, 2019 at 6:49 AM

    I love your blog; thanks for following mine.

  34. Anna Waldherr

    January 27, 2019 at 2:15 AM

    God bless you for your loving heart. <3

  35. ForgivingConnects

    January 27, 2019 at 10:59 PM

    Tren, I am so touched by this. Your caring is evident – and it must’ve been quite a journey to receive certification for becoming a foster parent. I am wishing you all much love. (The Corinthians verse is gorgeous.)
    Blessings,
    Debbie

  36. asburylucille

    March 1, 2019 at 8:58 PM

    Good luck on this journey. My husband and I recently became foster parents and I have written a couple of posts on what to expect if you want to check them out. It’s not easy, but important to know what you’re getting in to.

    1. Tren B.

      March 2, 2019 at 1:30 PM

      Thank you so much! I’ve never fostered before, but I’ve provided in home (therapy) services to foster families and the kiddo. And I know it’s pretty challenging. I’ll definitely check it out! ☺️

  37. thisisfostercare

    March 7, 2019 at 3:21 PM

    Congratulations! We love being foster parents and our foster son is our favorite part of our life right now! Therapeutic foster parents are so important and help so many kids.

    1. Tren B.

      March 14, 2019 at 7:28 PM

      That’s awesome and great to hear!! I’m looking forward to the life long experience.

  38. mlgdw3030

    July 28, 2019 at 9:14 PM

    My husband and I also started fostering in 2014. we went from fostering to adoption. I just LOVE my forever FAMILY. Congratulations to you and your family.

    1. Tren B.

      August 5, 2019 at 5:10 PM

      That is wonderful! I love to hear how families incorporate fostering into their lives 💛

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