Toxic Relationships That We Love

Sure, I asked myself over a thousand times “why do I like being a part of these toxic relationships?” Now when I mention “relationships” I do not mean just romantic but friendships as well. Whew! Not only did it take one, but about three toxic relationships later when I was able to understand why I did. Believe it or not, it was because of hope. I had hope as small as a mustard seed that things would be different or that I could change him/her. But that hope was hiding the root, which was fear.
I am sure we all have some experiences of being involved in toxic relationships that were difficult to get rid of. Not by force, but because we actually LOVED those relationships. I know it may sound crazy to love something that is not good for you -the truth is we do it every day. From what we eat to the things that we do to our bodies. This has been an area of my life that held me captive for a long time.
Yep, I said it fear! I was afraid to let go because I did not think it could get any better for me. I use to say things like, “this is as good as it gets Ty, suck it up and take it or be alone.” Some of you who will read this and know me personally may be surprised that I struggled. I struggled with this fear because I could never fit in. Tried dating the brotha with the gangsta lean, tried befriending the baddest chicks, tried to keep up because I was afraid to stand alone and be different.
How did I get out and make it through? I got tired, and you will too! I got tired of trying to squeeze my square into a circle. I got tired of investing in relationships/friendships that did not serve me well. I became so damn restless, it almost killed me. Matter of fact it did, well parts of me. It killed my dreams, hopes, and desires, I gave it all too much power to do even that. I had to change, I wanted out.Flowers, book and tea mug
Where am I now? Dodging toxic relationships like a mug, lol. Doing so by being a good investor. I was good at investing but not a good investor, if that makes sense. Praying about those I allow in my space, surrounding myself around others who share the same interests, and simply not being afraid to be Tysheira, Ty, TyTy all day every day, haha. What about you? Are you currently struggling with this or have in the past, how did you make it through? Let me know in the comments.
As always, leave inspired!
owl picMy name is Tysheira and I am the creator of Leave Inspired. I became passionate about blogging after realizing that as an introvert, I had a lot to talk about. I’ve always been the person that everyone came to while enduring some sort of hardship in life. I wanted to create my own platform to discuss the things that no one likes to talk about.
I am pursuing my MSW specializing in Mental Health. My goal is to become a Licensed Counselor Social Worker (LCSW) to help treat those that suffer from Mood and Anxiety Disorders. I am passionate about Mental Health and working on various ways to raise awareness and normalize it in the African American community.
I love all things of the arts, so I guess that makes me an Aesthete. Love to travel and eat good foods! I enjoy engaging with people, so do not be shy to send me a message.
Twitter: @IAM_TY_INC
IG: @leaveinspired
FB: Leave Inspired By Tysheira


  1. Brittany

    January 9, 2019 at 7:55 PM

    I used to love and hang on to them so I wouldn’t be lonely. Last year, I decided to break away from many of those -ships…and life got progressively better! I’m happy, relieved, and free.

    1. Tren B.

      January 13, 2019 at 8:25 PM

      Good for you. I also held on to dead end relationships. So I definitely get it. I’m no longer carrying other people’s luggage.

  2. Cozynookbks

    January 10, 2019 at 6:10 AM

    Enjoyed this post. It was thought provoking. I probably had a couple of toxic relationships during my youth, but thankfully as I grew older, matured, and realized what I wanted and deserved out of my friendships and relationships, that changed. My friends are all loving and supportive, and so is my husband of 24 years. I think in my younger years I was mirroring my mother’s behavior. But when I got older I started studying the Bible and it taught me so many things that helped me to improve my life, including my relationships. It stuck, and today I can say I’m toxic-relationship free. 😊

    1. Tren B.

      January 13, 2019 at 8:28 PM

      Yesss!! I’m with you. I am also free for toxicity. And if I feel people are “trying” to take me back there…I have no issues letting them know “I’m not walking that path again.”

  3. Stevie

    January 10, 2019 at 7:54 AM

    Unfortunately, I can relate to why we hold onto such relationships. Even with family. It’s quite a balance. Thanks for your perspective!

  4. shesbeaming

    January 10, 2019 at 10:39 AM

    I’m always making sure I avoid toxic relationships . Don’t need it in my

  5. Lorean J

    January 10, 2019 at 12:47 PM

    Love this post! One thing I did at this start of this year was change my mind about what I deserve. I no longer allow toxic people in my space because I deserve to have healthy relationships!

    1. Tren B.

      January 13, 2019 at 8:30 PM

      Yes, good for you! That’s a great way to start the new year.

  6. Katie Jones

    January 11, 2019 at 12:49 AM

    I spent most of my young adult life in toxic relationships. This post really hit home with me. I very much stuck with them for fear that I would never find anything better or that I could change him/help him. My heart was so welcoming and vulnerable in every relationship I had which ultimately led to heartbreak and problems with self-confidence. It is definitely a topic that needs awareness to. Thank you for sharing your story!

    1. Tren B.

      January 13, 2019 at 8:36 PM

      Thank you for sharing your experience. Sometimes we don’t know how toxic a relationship is until we feel the negative impact,, such as self confidence.

  7. Monika

    January 11, 2019 at 11:33 AM

    I myself have never struggled with the need to fit in – yes, I always stood up and no it wasn’t always easy… but I couldn’t be any different. However, I know very what it is to be good at investing but not a good investor when it comes to romantic relationships… or even friendships… the goal wasn’t to fit in, but more like thinking I can’t get better friendships/relationships than this, I should actually be grateful to have these. They are as good as they can get…. right? NO. Thank god I know better now! Or so I hope so haha

    1. Tren B.

      January 13, 2019 at 8:38 PM

      Exactly! Life lessons, are great lessons.

  8. tcleland88

    January 11, 2019 at 7:16 PM

    It can take a long time to come to the realization that you can’t change someone else. You are only responsible for your own feelings and behavior. If someone isn’t making you happy, start increasing your distance away from him/her.

  9. Think Happy Thoughts

    January 12, 2019 at 12:47 AM

    I admire your courage for sharing this! It is true that sometimes we are in the state of denial to admit that we are in a toxic relationship so accepting its failure is really the first step to moving forward

    1. Tren B.

      January 13, 2019 at 8:40 PM

      Acknowledgement, is the first step. I think the author did a great job sharing her experiences and methods to avoid such.

  10. Safana

    January 12, 2019 at 2:42 AM

    Loved this post! I have dealt with toxic relationships once and learnt my lesson. like you said we just gets tired and stop trying to fit in. I completely agree 💞 shared this post with some of my girls! 😊

    1. Tren B.

      January 13, 2019 at 8:41 PM

      Thank you for sharing this post. O think the author did an excellent job with transparency. And talking about how toxic relationships effected her

  11. Poovanesh

    January 12, 2019 at 3:50 AM

    We stay in toxic relationships because we’re afraid we are not loved and wanted. But they can be exhausting to constantly try to fit into the box designed for you by someone else. The best thing is to cut toxic relationships out to find newer and better relationships.

    1. Tren B.

      January 13, 2019 at 8:43 PM

      Yes, many are afraid and/or looking for something they’ve been neglected of (what ever that may be).

  12. Soniachic95

    January 12, 2019 at 7:39 AM

    I was there too my sister,I had a friend who was just like that,I actually sometimes still think that behavior of her was the devil doing!

    1. Tren B.

      January 13, 2019 at 8:46 PM

      Sometimes it feels and looks like we’re chasing the devil…we are often at war with the enemy. We have to put on His armor.

  13. allaboutthescrublife

    January 16, 2019 at 2:10 PM

    It is always so hard to leave toxic relationships but when you do, you feel like the world has been lifted from your shoulder. Good read!

    1. Tren B.

      January 22, 2019 at 5:35 PM

      It’s like a huge weight has been lifted. Thanks for visiting.

  14. Kareema

    January 16, 2019 at 5:51 PM

    Great Read!!! I definitely had to learn to cut off toxic relationships. Just like split ends, it was preventing me from growing.

    1. Tren B.

      January 22, 2019 at 5:35 PM

      Ohhhh, I love that view of dead end relationships!

  15. Opinionated Man

    January 16, 2019 at 11:16 PM

    It’s funny how we find our voice while using our fingers to blog! 👍

    1. Tren B.

      January 22, 2019 at 5:37 PM

      It seems like the authors voice has been there for quite a while. Now, she’s just using this platform to share ☺️

      1. Opinionated Man

        January 22, 2019 at 6:30 PM

        That’s the way it should be done! 👍😀

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